Feeling a Bit Down

The last week and a half has been very painful and very emotional. I'm trying to adjust to life outside of rehab and it's been very stressful. First of all, I don't have anywhere near the amount of pain medication I was getting in rehab. I've gone from taking Fentanyl, Percocet, and Ultram, to only taking Vicodin. That, in itself, has been a big adjustment, because the Vicodin simply doesn't control the pain. I can barely get in and out of my chair without crying. This is very hard on me, not just physically, but emotionally too. It's very difficult for me to rely on others for basic things like getting into the wheelchair or getting into bed. I can't even make myself something to eat because the wheelchair doesn't fit into the kitchen. I'm beyond grateful that I have loving people to help me, but I just wish I could do it myself.

I constantly struggle with feeling like I will never get better. I KNOW that I have made progress and everyone around me constantly encourages me...but when it really hurts, all I want to do is cry and I feel like it will never end.

I did have a bit of good news. I went to my follow up appt for the hearing loss I had right after the accident. They tested my hearing and all is good. No lasting damage there. So, that made me a little happy.

My next appt is with the Trauma Center on the 7th. Hopefully, I will get some good news there too. I definitely want to mention to them a few things. My right hip and shoulder blade are sore and numb to the touch. Robert felt my shoulder for me and he said that it feels like the shoulder is slipping out of place a little bit. I definitely want this checked to make sure there isn't anything wrong.

But with my gloominess aside, I suppose I really am making progress. I just can't wait to be able to take a REAL shower.... sponge baths really don't cut it.....even when given by my handsome man.