Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Nowhere to Hide

Just a little writing exercise I did the other day.  Keep in mind, it's rough draft, completely unedited. So be nice! ;)

©Kim Thirion - You do NOT have permission to copy, modify, alter, or claim this work as your own. You are welcome to share this, so long as it directs back to this blog and I receive proper credit.


With my back against a thick tree trunk, I stare out into the  darkness. Where is he?  All I can see in front of me is wilderness. The forest, that I felt so comfortable in as a child, has become a terrifying maze. Trees and brush are indistinguishable from each other, forming hulking black masses around me. He could be hiding in any one of them. My pulse switches into overdrive. I have to find a place to hide.

I listen for a sign of which direction he might have gone, but all I hear are crickets. Where the hell did he go?

I can’t stay here. I have to move. Move! I scream to myself.

As my eyes begin to adjust to the darkness, I make out a large shape 30 yards to my left. The barn! I hold my breath and listen again. I don’t hear anything. Complete silence. Now is the time.

I sprint across the small clearing, the wound in my thigh throbbing in protest. I make it to the barn, and slip around to the back where it’s always darkest. As much as the dark is my enemy, it’s also my friend. I know this barn inside and out. I don’t need light to navigate it.

The pain in my thigh is almost unbearable at this point, but I can’t stop. I shuffle along the back wall, feeling for the door I know is there. When my hands run over the smooth pine surface of the door, relief floods me.

I pause before I open it. Something doesn’t feel right. Something is wrong.

With my back to the wall I look out at the forest that surrounds me. I peer into the darkness, still unable to see anything. Then it hits me. It’s too quiet. What happened to the crickets I heard minutes ago?

Then I hear it. A crunch of leaves coming from the left. I snap my head around and I can just make out a human form hunched over next to a bush. A scream catches in my throat, but before it escapes, a hand clamps over my mouth and I feel myself being dragged backward into the barn.


The door closes and I hear something heavy being dragged in front of it. I thrash about, trying to break free from my captors grip. I trip, sending both of us sprawling to the ground.

“Calm down, Jess. It’s just me and Lana”

At the sound of Ben’s voice, I freeze. “Ben! He was watching me. He knows we’re in here.”

Ben gives me a worried look. “I know. So be quiet and follow me.”
I stand, wincing, but the pain in my leg is getting worse. I stumble over something in the dark, but I manage to stay on my feet.

Lana finishes pushing whatever it was she blocked the door with, and stands next to me,  though I sense her more than I can see her, as it’s darker in here than outside. “Are you alright?” she asks.

“He stabbed me.” I take a deep breath. “It feels like it’s on fire.”

Lana and Ben each grab one of my arms and drag me across the barn. I know exactly where they’re headed and I dread it.

Ben places my hand on the ladder that leads up into the hay loft. “We’ll be safer up here. He won’t be able to sneak up on us. Can you climb it?”

I’m not entirely sure if I can, but I know I have to. I reach up and begin climbing up the ladder. The pain in my leg is worse than any I’ve ever felt. About half-way up, I begin to see bright spots and I feel as if the room is spinning. Come on, Jess. I have to do this.

I can feel Ben below me. I can’t put them as risk. I begin climbing again. When I pull myself over the last rung, I collapse onto the loft floor. I feel like I’m going to pass out, but I take deep breaths to steady myself. I have to stay alert.

Seconds later, Ben and Lana are next to me, dragging me into the corner. They arrange the stacks of hay bales into somewhat of a wall around us. We huddle together with me in the middle. I lay my head on Ben’s shoulder and I can feel his protective arm around me.

“Why isn’t he coming for us?” Lana whispers.

The truth dawns on me, but I’m almost afraid to say it out loud. Standing next to the tree in the woods, something had felt off to me, and I realize now what it was. The silence. The crickets had suddenly gone quiet because he had disturbed them. He had to have been very close to me. He could have killed me then, but he didn’t. He wasn’t ready.

“He’s not coming because he’s playing with us.”


My eyes flutter open, and for a moment I’m shocked I was able to sleep. There’s a madman hunting me down and somehow I was able to sleep? But the moment I try to move, I know why. I’m exhausted. My body was put through so much yesterday, I’m not even sure how I’m conscious right now. I swear all of my muscles are stiff. look around, but neither Ben, nor Lana are next to me.

I pull myself to a sitting position, and pain sears through my right leg. I look down at it, hoping to see how much damage was done, but my pant leg has been cut away and my leg has been been cleaned and bandaged.

“Well look who’s awake.” Ben says walking into the makeshift hay fort. He notices me eyeing my leg. “Lana snuck down at dawn to get the first aid from the tack room. It’s not as bad as it feels, I’m sure.” He grabs my hand. “You’re looking a bit pale.”

“I’m thirsty” It comes out as a croak.

“Well, it’s good we decided to hole up in the barn.” Lana appears holding a bucket of water. “It’s probably not the most sanitary. But the horses drink out of it just fine.” She gives me a nervous grin.

I take the bucket, thirst winning out over the idea of sharing a drinking bucket with a horse. I gulp down enough water to quench my thirst, then I put it down and look at my friends.

“So, what time is it?”

“Around noon,” Ben says.

Noon? “What are we still doing here? Shouldn’t we try to get help?”

“From who?” Ben asks. “The nearest farm is three miles away, and you’re hardly in the shape to make a run for it.”

©Kim Thirion


  1. Nice work. Hope you keep going with this.

  2. Thanks! I think I might have a plan for this.